Category Archives: funny

IST (India Standard Time) & Gen Next

‘On time is a wonderful thing’ . I remember one of the leading Indian domestic airlines blasting their ad campaign few months ago with this as the main feature of their airlines. Alas we Indians seldom appreciate this  ‘On Time’ concept. Not being On time, is so culturally set in our body clocks that no amount of attempts to reset our body clocks  may alter our being  on time priorities.

Generations after generations of Indian children have been demonstrated that not being on time is just who we are as a nation.   Even auspicious moments like weddings are manipulated by dutiful pundits only to suit their own pockets. Actually not being on time is rarely considered a vice.

With such low regard to the ‘Time Axis’ in our lives, aren’t we conditioning the next  generation to disregard the time axis altogether. Anyway with the technological and societal changes our time lines are as it is getting crunched and jumbled up.

In my opinion when children are young their relationship with time is not truly corrupted. For them a school friends birthday party at 7 pm is sacrosanct. Being on time for the new animated movie and having popcorn on time is high on their agenda. If you have promised them, that you will play a board game at home or take them to the park at 6 pm, then their agile brains do trigger an alarm periodically, nagging you to deliver your promise.

How about next time we have to go for a wedding, a birthday, a movie or even being punctual while leaving for office daily we reset our IST body clocks to be on time. When someone invites us for a party at 7pm, we take the bold step to be on time and yet not be embarrassed.  May be that’s when the collective IST timers for the Gen Next gets reset and syncs with the actual IST time !

unusualfunnyclocks09

Once upon a time in Lego Land

IMG_1393

 

My 5-year-old and daughter is adept at using all the new age gadgets at home with ease. Well most children these days are smarter, aren’t they? Smarter than the previous generations. And that’s what the evolution theory is about as well

But I have noticed that BOARD games are slowly being minimized to BORED games and Angry birds have already invaded most households, either as iPhone/iPad games or original and duplicate merchandise from school stationery to inner wear.

Incidentally board games were played with neighboring friends in my childhood.  Board games were more of a group activity than a lonesome activity of playing angry birds on an iPhone.  Messy yet fun. But with digital games on a phone or a tablet it’s far easier to clean up.  One  swipe and, Mama I am done!

A lot of games on the modern gadgets are interactive and do develop rational and creative skills, but on the flip side may not induce the added push to develop motor skills. From holding a pack of cards to play Uno, to rolling a dice, to fusing and dismantling the blocks of a Lego game, all boost motor skills. Yes, playgroups and nursery schools do their share to enhance the motor skills.

But the same generation could be very soon having a Tablet as part of their stationary list  the moment they step in 1st grade.  And all this familiarity and comfort with using gadgets is a like a prep course for more techno learning that is getting promoted.

When we got computers in our school, I remember I was in the 5th grade.  And my parents were awed and proud to see me navigate those beefy IBM  & BBC machines with ease.

Gaming on phones and tabs will keep getting better and attracting kids , but yes, monitoring and setting rules of usage of all these gizmos is challenge that all parents need to brace for.

Cannot resist but link one of my older posts on Facebook and Kids, tagged ‘Facebook page of a Toddler’.

https://socialtrail.wordpress.com/2011/07/09/facebook-page-of-a-toddler/

Cheers

Mandar

Driving Personalities & Past Life theory

I was not a strong believer in Past Life theories for a long time. At least not since my birth in Present Life.  But things changed.  They changed, after I took my driving test and got behind the wheels on my own.  It was one busy morning in my driving seat and I was speeding on the highway. Atleast for a novice driver like me, 50kmph was like a full throttle charge. And just then I got a Vision. All my fellow drivers on the highway zipping past me, had transformed into some possessed creatures from the animal kingdom. Unfortunately this vision has been haunting me every time I am behind the wheel.

So here is my dreadful list of Past life forms of most of my fellow drivers that I have been encountering everyday.

The Mighty Rat:

This past life species drives with only a singular objective. Find a gap between two cars and encroach that space. They are ready to jeopardize their and others life through every minute of their driving. Some how a large population of Autorickshaw drivers in India fall under this Past life form.

The Zig- zag Cobra: 

Drivers with tendencies of this past life form bear a strong resemblance with ‘The Mighty Rat’. Yet one of the biggest difference being the speed at which the Cobra souls drive their bodies. Lethal in attack and also unfortunately with may be the highest mortality rates in Present Life.

The Sleepy Snail:  This Past Life form has actually absolute disregard for any laws of motion, but still adheres to the 1st law of motion- If an object experiences no net force, then its velocity is constant: the object is either at rest (if its velocity is zero), or it moves in a straight line with constant speed (if its velocity is nonzero).  They also prefer to defy laws of time and space.

The Scorpion King:

Empty road or crowded roads, these  Past Life souls prefer to drive their vehicles crossways. They may not be always fast,but straight road is not for them. Somehow they also display a higher degree of vengeance to fellow creatures  on the road and are abusive like their Rat and Cobra counterparts. No one escapes a sting by the Scorpion King.

The Gentle Horse:

This one is the safest Past Life species to befriend, atleast for me. They mend their own way, gentle yet assertive on the lane.  Traffic or no traffic, these gentle souls do not fret. For them, life is journey. Destination and time to destination is secondary. Safety and pleasure of the ride are some past life instincts of this genre. Interestingly, in  Present Life this species has demonstrated longer life span.

The Raging Bull:

This one seems to be the most dreadful of the all the Past Life forms to me. With their dark evil shadows looming over me all the time, they cannot stop honking their ‘Horns’ ! I have almost got mowed down by them, thanks to my single lane driving instincts.

My dreadful visions have not stopped yet; I am anxious that more species might get discovered. Do feel free to report any new findings.

And yes, no matter who you were in your past life, Wish you SAFE DRIVING 🙂

Thermo COOL Art

Just a silly attempt to keep Shanaia engaged last weekend turned out to be an interesting work of art by her.

I was about to junk this piece of Thermocol,  and just then I got an idea to give an innovative surface to  Shanaia to draw upon.

Frankly, as a child in good old days when Hamleys- The Toy store,  had not invaded Mumbai, I had used a large piece of thermocol from my mom’s food processor mixer and made a Battleship out of it. So just junking a precious piece of Thermocol was not really an option I was keen to choose!

Following are some pics of ThermoCOOL art by Shanaia.

Kites, Water Bottle and Faces

Tick Tock Clock

Do not miss the face drawn around the embedded circle

Do not miss the Faces drawn around existing embedded circles

Pigeon Holed Faces

This one is my favorite.  Intelligent use of the existing holes to draw faces within.

Art by Dad...

Art by DAD

No Shave, No Lipstick…the new dating mantra

Not sure how many of you have noticed the ongoing “No Shave, No Lipstick” movement in the media. Well it’s actually a daring ad campaign smartly tagged as ‘Movement’ for the new Gillette shaving blades.

Well,  to decode the ‘Movement’ as stated in the advertorial, it’s all about how women consider men to be undesirable, uncool and as per some extreme comments less trustworthy, if they are with a stubble!

And all this research by AC Nielsen with a record-breaking massive sample set of 150 women in few metros! That’s it..well that’s why it’s called a Sample set.

This is a dreadful statistics for all the Lipstick companies. Behind every unshaven man, there will the one or may be many (could vary in some case I believe) women; who are committed not to use their most preferred  weapon from their vanity box, the Lipstick.

Thank god that I am married by now. So no imminent threat with my weekend stubble.  But yes, for all the bachelor men out there, you better take this seriously.

Looking forward to some FB posts as follows.

Chulbul Pandey added an update to March 25, 2012 on his  timeline – Clean shaven today

   Shiela, Munni and 5 others like this.

Shiela Chulbul Pandey, let’s go for a coffee today. What say ?

Cheers

Mandar

Seven types of Air Travelers

Flying can be fun, if you enjoy observing people. Every-time I fly, I somehow pigeon-hole fellow passengers in one of my prejudiced slots. I get amused by the way each of these kinds behave.  Here is my express list of air travelers these days.

The Pyjama Party Hoppers

Well this cool dude will be comfortable surfing in his pyjamas or shorts and slip ons all over the place.  For him, the Goan beach or an airport lounge, life is always a party.  Well and you know this saves him lot of time while he dashes from one city to another. With ruffled hair and droopy eyes, a lot of time I get a feeling that these people are innocent sleep walkers who have lost their way to the airport lounge.  May be next time I will be the good Samaritan to help him back to his shack.

Miss Louis Vuitton

Madam LVMH is all set to capture the eyeballs on this mega event called Flying. Ever before you spot her in the crowd, her, strong if not always mesmerizing perfume makes her presence felt. And even before you could see her,  a lot many times you get nudged by her entourage of vanity bags and boxes.  Maintaining a minimal eye contact with most menial people around  (thanks to those Big  Versace sunglasses) , she ensures that her business comes first. A lot of time she is the most dreadful passenger for the ground staff and the in-flight crew to handle, for her business always come first !

Mr. Gadget Freak

Mr. Apps is so fully loaded with his gizmos, that all the security checkpoints he gets alarms buzzing.  Minute after minute he keeps juggling between his gizmo inventory. The ‘ipod’ is his constant adaptation, may be the one he uses is even water proof, so that he is never without one. Suddenly you will see him bobbing his head to some trance music may be paying homage to Mr.Jobs. By the time he settles down in the waiting lounge, up comes the ‘ipad’.  In the mid-air just when all the cabin lights are dimmed, pop goes his overhead light and out comes his ‘Kindle’. Mr.Gadget freak always reminds me of the ‘Salesmen’ we spot on local trains in Mumbai. Have your ever noticed how easily they keep fishing out their wares in the crowded trains for eager buyers. Mesmerizing ! Finally Mr Gizmo switches to his “PSP”. Once I almost got knocked off when one Gadget guru was racing on his ‘PSP’. Well life is a ‘Game’ isn’t it ?

The Workaholic

This kind gets his inspiration from Mr.Gadget freak; the only difference being, for him life is “all work and no play”. He is normally the last one to board the flight. A business suit in one hand, an open laptop flap in another and in between dangles part of his luggage. By the time the safety announcement requests’ passengers to switch off all electronic devices, Mr.Workaholic is still on his blackberry closing the mother of all mortgage deals in some part of the world. After repeated requests he will finally pretends to shut down his devices. He incidentally believe that safety comes first. The moment the seat belt sign is put off,  he frantically dangles and leaps over the overhead compartment to grab his laptop. From now on till the aircraft prepares to land, he is the only visibly awake passenger on the flight. The pilots these days I understand feel it safer to be on auto-pilot!

The Big Momma

Well I pity this woman for being in charge to manage a mischievous and handful pre-schooler and a whining infant junior part II. She is all geared for this dreadful flight. One back pack, one sling bag and multiple trolley bags, which seem to have missed the ‘laws of motion’ she is one of the last people to enter the aircraft. I can’t blame her. Her back pack has all the ration to keep the two kids in good spirits. Starting with some Choco snack  bars, gums, juice tetra packs, sandwiches, biscuits, milk foods for the infant, diapers, toys just all. Phew may be much more. Airport assistance or no assistance, she is a woman on mission.

The First Time Flyer (FTF)

We all have been through this stage. Been through those awkward moments when you do not know what to do. For this gentleman it’s not as much the joy of flying but the list of don’ts that he keeps memorizing. He is a butt of all the suspicion for the security personnel. His nervousness about flying gives him a hue of a shady criminal unsure of his business. His luggage accessories have yet not been upgraded for the air travel. A trunk or a large suitcase always add to his awkwardness. But well one can’t blame him for that. That’s the first time he is flying. From getting into wrong boarding queues to getting on the wrong aircraft, this kind is always at its wits to brace up. Once airborne, they keep jutting out of their seats to look outside the window. And yes some do not refrain from calling the pretty air hostess “Madam”.

Mr.Snooz…

Mr.Snooz, is always snoozing. From later arrival to the airport to catching a wink at the waiting lounge, he is always at peace with his surroundings. Nothing can stop him from catching wink in busy places. He also at times is the last passenger on board. Some of them snore loud enough to make propellers shudder. I strongly feel this set of passengers can cause interruptions with radio waves and all possible communication of the pilot with the Air Traffic Controller (ATC).  Well this may not have been proved in the popular series of “Aircraft Crash Investigations”, but there could be a case for my theory ! Anyone wants to second me on this one ?

Note : This post has gender specific references. You could liberally change the usage if you consider it appropriate 🙂 No offence to any gender intended.

Kids & Pets

Shanaia, our 3 and half year old daughter cheekily asked, “Mama Can we buy a Dog ?”  Mama asked why? And she promptly answered,  “dogs can catch robbers.” Mama replied with a stern no. Try number two. “Then can we buy a Cat?”  Again a big no from Mama. Then may be a parrot. Mama’s “no” were as prompt as the questions.

How about Fishes?  This one, Shanaia won with 4-3 . Shanaia had smartly calculated, Fishes were one thing mama definitely loves;  if not alive, definitely dead. And that’s when Shanaia knew she had a sealed  her first deal, a Pet.

And I was more than eager to ensure to get a fish tank. I had similar conversations with my mom as  child.  After a long stint of negotiations I was reluctantly allowed to have a fish tank. Graduating from a fish tank I managed to convince my parents to get me a pair of ‘Love birds’. Seeing my passion for pets, one of my uncles had gifted me a pair of ‘Turtles’. And finally for a brief period I had kept  ‘White mice’.

By the time Shanaia, grandpa & me were at the pet shop, ‘the child in me’  was revisiting all the special memories I had with all my pets. Growing up with pets was an important experience that I had imbibed.  It had inculcated in me a sense of responsibility, love, care, respect for all living beings. The pain & remorse of losing my fishes & love birds prepared me for harsher realities of life as a child, ‘we all are mortals’.

And now while my daughter is growing up, I would love her to grow with her pets .

Yet there are a few important considerations that one needs to keep in mind before buying pets.

  1. Like the amount of time you or your child and spend to take care in maintaining pets in a responsible way.
  2. Pets of different kinds are prone to catch infections and also pass it on to humans or in some case trigger pre existing allergies.
  3. Do a fair amount of research before buying any pet. From traits, care, breed, to knowing where you are going to place the pets in your house.